Two days ago I got the great news that I have been offered admission to the London School of Economics for a Masters starting fall 2004. This of course means that I have some tough decisions to make over the next few weeks.
I now have to somehow decide between urban planning at McGill (in Montreal) and an Msc in urbanisation and development at LSE. After I got accepted to McGill, the idea of returning to a familiar environment for a few years to concentrate on a great personal interest sounded too good to be true. My interest in LSE faded a bit, as the idea of relocating yet again to another new country and environment became less attractive by the day.
But when I got my notice of acceptance the other day, I felt something I have sorely missed over the past few months: real, tangible excitement. LSE, London…wow! Having just pretty much convinced myself that McGill was the way to go, everything was suddenly thrown right back up in the air.
This is not just a matter of city vs. city, school vs. school. The programs in themselves are quite different. The McGill School of Urban planning offers a two-year Masters which seems to emphasize professional development and practical application of knowledge. Basically, I come out of there as an urban planner (wow, god forbid I actually acquire some tangible, employable skills!).
The Msc in urbanisation and development at LSE, on the other hand, is only one year and, as I understand it, comes across as much more academic and theoretical. I should also note that this is the program’s inaugural run, so I would be among the first group of students to start it up in fall ‘04.
So really, I have to figure out what I am looking for at this point in my life. So far, it has been a lot of academia and theory. Four years in Political Studies, and two years “teaching English” in China (read as devouring all the material I can find related to China’s development and urbanization). Is it time to transform this interest into more tangible skills? Or, rather, is my true calling to remain on the theoretical side of things? I’m not sure whether I am ready to embark upon a career, or whether some more time arguing about economic policy over pints is in order.
I’m also afraid that my current state of mind will affect a decision that, in turn, will affect the next few years of my life. I seem to be suffering from expat fatigue, feeling a bit emotionally drained from my two years of detached existence. In that context, the idea of relocating to yet another new environment and reality, let alone the frenetic energy of London, seems a bit daunting. Usually one to go for the new and uncharted, lately I have been longing for the familiar.
However, it is quite possible that this longing will be quickly satisfied by a few months in Canada this summer. If I stay on in Montreal after that, will I regret it? Should I forgo an opportunity like LSE just because I feel a bit worn out?
McGill and LSE are both excellent institutions, but with the latter pulling ahead in terms of international reputation. LSE to me seems like it would be a crazy, energetic year, spent at an international intellectual hub surrounded by many of the world’s bright minds. An exciting prospect to be sure, but as someone very close to me said: “Is it worth spending all that money only to once again have no idea what you want to do after a year?” McGill would definitely offer a little more structure and direction.
So right when I am trying to wrap up my teaching, plan for my mom’s visit and figure out my return to Canada, this rather large dilemma shows up. Perfect! Decisions are hard, but somehow has to make them.
Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions, especially if you are familiar with the programs or institutions in question or if you have experience in the “what the hell am I going to do with my life” department.